Neither Too Close Nor Too Far: The Timeless Art of Dealing with Difficult Bosses

In high-powered organizations, one lesson shines above all: rule number one—protect the boss’s ego. Disagree you may, but disagree gently. Words must be weighed like gold, and always leave space for the boss’s decision to stand as final.

We like to believe that careers are built on talent and hard work. Yet often, they are shaped by the temperament of the person we report to. Employees do not leave organizations; they leave their bosses. And bosses can wound in many ways—the

one who makes your best effort seem a mere fraction of expectation, the one who basks in the glow of victories but points an accusing finger at failures, the cry-baby boss who moans endlessly about workload, the micro-manager who suffocates every move, and the monster manager who seems to thrive only in making others’ lives miserable. Add to this the bully boss, the absentee boss , the paranoid, and the narcissist—the catalogue of tormentors is long.

Even brilliant leaders are not exempt. Craig M. Wright, an American scholar, studied the leadership of several geniuses a-la Edison, Picasso, Henry Ford and Steve Jobs. They were masterminds who reshaped the world, yet as people’s leaders they were poor. Jobs, for instance, was allegedly obsessively controlling, prone to fits of rage, throwing tantrums even at board members. A few who worked under him remarked that creativity soared under him, but so did their suffering.

How then did their one-downs and two-downs survive their ire? By adapting. Some endured the storms in silence, some mastered the art of reading moods, and some simply left when the strain became too great. For if this was the case in corporates—where checks and balances still exist—what about kings, who held supreme power with no one to say “no”?

History is filled with tales of such unchecked arrogance. Maharaja Jai Singh (1882–1937) despised defeat. Opponents in games were warned to lose, yet once during a polo match the opposite team triumphed despite trying not to. Furious, the Maharaja torched his horse, blaming it for the loss. On another occasion, insulted at a Rolls-Royce showroom in London, he bought seven cars, shipped them to India, and used them as garbage carriers. King Farouk of Egypt (1920–1965) fared no better—he disliked the look of a railway station and ordered it demolished, indifferent to the plight of passengers. Power, when absolute, often slid into whim and cruelty.

If corporate titans who somehow mirror the egoist kings of the past could be so difficult, how should one navigate a bully boss in the modern workplace? Exerts give some tips- Never confront them mid-tirade. If the attack comes by email, resist the urge to strike back instantly. Wait, and later bring up the incident calmly in private. You may never hear an apology, but your quiet reminder signals that respect cannot be trampled. With narcissistic bosses, the path is different. Their charm is a mask that slips in time. When it does, the best course is to plan an exit—but carefully, leaving without burning bridges.

Centuries before, Thiruvalluvar anticipated these struggles in his chapter on “Dealing with the Supremely Powerful.” His counsel is precise:

• Do not compete with your boss’s ambitions.

• A single bad impression is hard to erase. So, try not to make any mistakes.

• Your boss may be friendly. Do not take friendliness as liberty—never out-laugh or whisper in his ear.

• Do not overhear, interrupt, or question rashly.

• Even if you are younger than your boss or related, a boss is still a boss.

• Intimacy does not mean privilege.

  
  

And then comes his most profound metaphor in Kural 691:

“Agalaadhu Anugaadhu Theekayvaar polga: Igal Vendhar Serndozhugu vaar”

Moving  with the bosses is like sitting by the fire-side;

Neither too close, nor too far.

That, perhaps, is the timeless art. Whether in the court of kings or the corridors of corporations, survival rests not in confrontation or servility, but in balance—knowing the exact distance at which one can sit, feel the warmth, and not get burnt.

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